tredlocity:

Me: yeah I slightly modded my skyrim game

My skyrim game:

morecolorfulmetaphors:

got some incredible amontillado content on my blog if you’d like to follow me behind this paywall :)

wrender:

Heavy is the chest that wears the tits or whatever

chaoticgouda:

milord the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

funnytwittertweets:

cowsinlove:

whenever i take of my pants and i unbuckle my belt i feel like a corporate ceo about to get his dick sucked

surprisedentistry:

cosmicbirth:

surprisedentistry:

anyone else remember being a child and seeing the very neat handwriting of other little girls and somehow knowing that you were a different genre of person than they were

literally no…i remember seeing bad handwriting & thinking “oh these other kids must be orphans or something”

fascinating to hear from the other genre, thanks for your contribution

soloveitchik:

Lmao

gayarsonist:

gayarsonist:

gayarsonist:

nobody who’s ever drawn or been a fan of a “tumblr sexyman” will ever be on the level of some 19th century artists with satan

satan, the original sexyman

justsomerandomgaynerd:

dankmemeuniversity:

surprisedentistry:

if you set off fireworks in a fire zone during fire season your neighbors actually have the legal and moral right to beat you with a baseball bat

thedarkbutbeige:

ironbite4:

slartibartfastibast:

Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book.  It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.

curioscurio:

the-quasar-hero:

chakira:

the-quasar-hero:

chakira:

the-quasar-hero:

chakira:

the-quasar-hero:

It’s SO obvious that some of y’all are incredibly mad that my wizard hat is bigger and supremely balanced.

okay… i can still see the folds on your wizard robe… iron it.

Now I know you ain’t talking with ya dusty ass grimoire. That bad boy is held together with scotch tape, spit, and faith. Helpful hint: you want the spines of your enemies to break, not your magical tomes.

no cause it’s really cute hearing that from you when last i checked your grimoire isn’t being passed down from generation to generation. i know you got it from walmart with your dollar store lookin ass staff. you can keep your hint.

I just think it’s funny you think anything that isn’t dusted and busted like your grimoire is somehow less authentic, when the reality is you a broke ass wizard who can’t get your coin up! You gotta use hand-me-downs cuz no king wants to make use of your services! Maybe you should dress like this isn’t the third century and ppl would visit your sad lil’ wizard tower. Your grimoire so old I bet that shit got spells to deal with dinosaurs. I got a spell in mine to make wifi anywhere. Oh, and I know you ain’t talking about staffs when you carry around that plywood looking ass shit. You tryna conjure forth a Home Depot employee?

you scroll-stuffing spell stealing nasty little SLUT

Nuh-uh, bitch, try again.

spacefroggity:

spacefroggity:

spacefroggity:

Very fun dynamic: powerful otherworldly being absolutely enamored with just some pretty normal person

Something about it just gets me every time. Can’t go wrong with that

The Clark and Malfina effect

blaiddsumu:

i think my dad came up with just about The Funniest reply to a meme i sent him